End of the Line

I have completed my adventures and am settling back into the U.S. It feels right. I was 32 when the wheels were set in motion and 33 when I first landed in Colombia. I’m 39 now and can’t even remember what life was like for me six years ago. That’s an exaggeration, but there is some truth to it. I have new perspectives now, have had some fun and interesting life experiences, and am much more at ease than I was before, on many levels. I still have a ways to go and have many things I want to accomplish, so in a sense, the adventure is ongoing. But let’s just say the “are you crazy, what are you doing?” phase is now complete 🙂

Thank you for following along with me. My first blog, although primitive, was a big leap for me. Never had I shared a journal online before and I remember always being so excited to see a new comment pop up. The subsequent ones were more refined but I hope they provided the same sense of being there with me. My writing style is just me typing things as I see, feel, and think them, so the filter is always slightly askew, but hopefully it was enjoyable.

Thank you to my parents for supporting me during these years and moments of craziness. I know they didn’t always understand, but their support was important to me and allowed me to continue to explore and find out what is important to me and where I want to be. That was monumental. Thank you to everyone who commented, sent e-mails, and encouraged me. I always looked forward to those correspondences.

I have compiled all these individual log entries over the past five plus years and they are between 600 and 700 pages total, including pictures! Wow!! One of my life goals has always been to write a book and I have a lot of material now. I just need to find a way to synthesize it and put it together into a cohesive narrative. I already have the title – A Life I Will Remember. That line from the Avicii song The Nights always sticks with me. You have one life to live. Take advantage of it and do what makes you happy. It will be gone in a flash.

Here’s a compilation of some of the more interesting log entries — at least to me:

2016 – Colombia
02/03/16 The Little Things
02/15/16 Everybody Poops
03/04/16 Inside the Classroom
03/24/16 Playing Tennis
05/04/16 Paying Bills
06/17/16 Doing Laundry – Insights
07/20/16 Why Am I Here – The Girl
07/20/16 Why Am I Here – Why Now
09/25/16 Business School – Thank You
09/26/16 My First Corvette – The Search Begins
10/30/16 Attitude
12/04/16 A Magical Tour Guide Named Gerardo
04/18/17 Live a Life You Will Remember

2017 – Chile
05/08/17 Apartment
06/16/17 Financial Independence
07/18/17 Colombia Project
08/02/17 Hygiene in South America
08/21/17 Happy
08/29/17 DCP-1
09/27/17 The Natives Are Restless
10/03/17 Chilefornia
10/14/17 I Love Postgres
12/12/17 Un Perro Muerto
12/15/17 Sublime
12/20/17 Ugly Americans
01/15/18 Federer vs. Nadal
03/14/18 A Snake, An Egg, and Lots of Dog Poop

2018 – Colombia
06/02/18 La Casablanca
06/12/18 Social Innovation Challenge Camp
06/15/18 Laundry…finally!
07/22/18 Verifying install …SUCCESS. Get to the choppa! 🙂
08/23/18 Going Back to Cali
09/25/18 Programa de incentivos
10/09/18 Solo en Colombia
11/04/18 Bueno, Bonito, y Barato
12/16/18 Social Innovation Challenge – Wrap Up
01/08/19 Academic Incentive Program – Wrap Up
01/16/19 First Run
02/02/19 Snowboarding Enlightenment
05/31/19 Week of Death
06/23/19 A Wedding and a Couple Canadians

2019-2021 Israel
08/08/19 Wild Boars in Heat
10/10/19 A Tale of Three Runs
11/07/19 Ode to Bus #12
12/02/19 A New Champion
12/25/19 Merry Christmas
01/28/20 A Silver Lining
02/07/20 Four Bars
07/09/20 The Search for Lavashak
07/11/20 The Big One – Running Edition
07/25/20 Land Mines
08/31/20 How to Return a Bean Bag
09/05/20 Being Friendly Hurts
11/06/20 The Universal Language
12/04/20 Hidden Gems
12/05/20 Oh, Bus #12
12/19/20 Follow Your Nose
01/16/21 Programa de incentivos de 2020
01/20/21 I’ve Officially Been Here Too Long
03/13/21 Jerusalem
04/03/21 Soft Landing in Istanbul
04/28/21 Hard Landing in the U.S.
06/08/21 A Missed Opportunity

I will continue to keep a blog here: https://alifeiwillremember.wordpress.com. I’m not sure what form it will take, so it will likely take shape naturally on its own. Ciao.

Me and My Beds

This is not a topic that most people, including myself, think about too much, but it’s been at the forefront of my mind for the last few weeks. I found a bed I liked and bought it a few weeks ago, but it’s been an absolute comedy of errors to get the darn thing in my apartment. Once I get a bed setup, I can move in. I seem to be inching closer and closer each week, but not quite there yet.

I picked out a bedroom set and a sectional three weeks ago and scheduled them to both be delivered last weekend. Everything was picked out perfectly and I was excited to finish the last big steps. Alas, all the plans seemed to go awry. The sectional guys came and tried to fit the largest piece through the stairs and it wouldn’t make it. So I had to turn back the entire set. Poop. Well, at least I still have my bedroom set coming later between 10am and 2pm.

So I did my first exploration of La Jolla and found a place to get a quick bite for lunch. It wasn’t super expensive, maybe $9, so on par with Chile more or less. Funny how my mindset is still that of exploring and being in a new place even though I am in San Diego and I have a car. That’s a good sign, it means my mind has switched a bit and still desires to explore and see new things. Anyways, I wait until 1:45pm and then call the furniture store to see what the heck is going on. They say they have no record of me or the system is down or some other reason.

At this point, I just gave up. It was supposed to be a big day but it turned out to be a big letdown. The next day I went to the furniture store to give them a piece of my mind and they sure got it. When I get mad, I don’t make a lot of noise or huff and puff, but I just make it known I’m disappointed and upset, which I was. So I think this got through. They rescheduled my delivery and gave me $250 credit back on my card. That helped a little.

So this weekend (today actually) I was scheduled to receive this phantom bedroom set, again. The delivery guys showed up and no problem bringing the items up the elevator. They were Mexican so I got to practice my Spanish with them. The mattress is one of those that expands and as soon as it was done expanding, I knew something was wrong — it was too tall. I had ordered a low-profile foundation and sure enough, they brought me the regular size one. This time around I was just merely annoyed and not peeved. The pieces they brought were beautiful and it was nice to see my bedroom filled out. I love the smell of fresh wood, too, it’s intoxicating. So that part made me happy.

I went back down to the store and they fixed their second booboo and now I will have two foundations. If anyone wants a brand new 9″ metal foundation, let’s talk. So now I’m scheduled to get my (hopefully) final piece from these guys next weekend. This bed is making me work, never have I had to work so hard for a bed. In Colombia…heh, well in Colombia, the first time around, it was a funny story. Where do you typically go to buy a new bed? To a store or a mall, right? I think I tried that in Colombia, but the beds were expensive in the mall — or at least more than I wanted to pay.

So, what did I do? Well, one of my new friends took me around to find a used frame and get a new mattress. This was probably my first exposure to the quirkiness of living in small-town Colombia. He called a guy who ran a second-hand store and told him to meet him there one afternoon. We go to this nondescript place — no signs, no indication of anything and he lets us in through some door / gate. Inside, it has all kinds of collected furniture pieces. And lo and behold, a bed frame! So I ended up getting my frame there. Now you can’t buy a used mattress, even I have my limits of frugality, so my friend took me to another shop which sold mattresses. And when I say shop, I use this term liberally. There was no indication of what this space sold and absolutely no possible way for anyone who didn’t know about it to just randomly find it.

In other words, if you were new-in-town looking for a mattress, you would never stumble upon this place. So I got my mattress and then it was on to assembling this new-fangled contraption. It was the weirdest bed I had ever seen up to that point, but it was comfortable, did the job, and it was mine! I bought it!

My next bed was in Chile, this was when I rented a furnished apartment. I just did the calculation and my apartment there was about 36 square meters, which is about 388 square feet. I can’t believe I actually lived in a place this tiny. This is more than half the size of my apartment now (800 sqft), which is also small, but doesn’t feel cramped.

My next bed was back in Colombia, when I borrowed a friend’s bed to furnish my Casablanca. And my most recent bed was the one in Israel, which was also part of a furnished apartment. That apartment feels like such a distant memory now. The more I think about it, the more I realize I really really really did not enjoy living there. But I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything. These things give you perspective and now I absolutely appreciate and am beyond grateful to have a comfortable living situation again. Which brings me to my latest bed…this blasted bed that just doesn’t seem to want to arrive! But when it does, I’m going to love it. I hope.

So, onto that other furniture — the sectional. What did I learn? Since I’m on the 3rd floor, it is more difficult to move in large pieces. So now I am looking for a 4-piece sectional, instead of a 3-piece. Some things you have to learn the hard way. The past week was frustrating, but it’s slowly moving in the right direction. I’ve gotten upset about enough things over the years that I know that I will get over them and be ok soon enough. Knowing this fact actually helps speed up the process for me, since I tell myself that the things that bother me now will probably not bother me in a week. Isn’t that some famous quote or riddle to life? This too shall pass…

Back to the Grind

So I have officially re-joined the “real world” as I like to say. I found a job and a place to live and completed my first week of work. It felt very, very different. I don’t feel any attachment to the job or organization yet. And in the back of my mind, I still have a slight sense of “no big deal, I can switch if I don’t like it.” I have been on the other side and survived — it had some interesting moments, but otherwise wasn’t that bad. I’ve gone through a job search and found a job. This will make it much easier for me the next time around too.

I’m hoping that this is a good fit, only time will tell. So how did my first week go? Let’s just call it an adjustment. I had to mentally adjust to not having my own schedule anymore. I couldn’t go out at 10am and go to Home Depot. I had to be at work. To be honest, I felt a little caged in at times. But I think this will pass once I get some real work to do and get into a rhythm. I think it will be OK, though, since I’m working remotely and the hours are flexible. I don’t think I will feel “caged in” in the long run.

Other things to get used to… well, for one, holidays mean something to me again. When I was out of the country, no one celebrated U.S. holidays, so they didn’t really mean anything to me. And when I was in the U.S. in between jobs, I already had a permanent holiday, so again they didn’t mean much to me. Now I can look forward to those days off again.

And here are a couple of weird ones. Working Monday through Friday as opposed to Sunday through Thursday. That will wear off quickly. Having a two-day weekend, oh Hallelujah. It feels so great to have two full days to relax. Related to that, since we had to work half days on Friday in Israel, having to work on a Friday afternoon this week felt very strange to me. All in all, I was a little discombobulated but I will get my bearings soon enough.

I have my furniture and bed delivered tomorrow and have been slowly getting my apartment set up, which I am looking forward to. It will be nice to explore a new place, but this time in the U.S. and especially in San Diego. I have a new lens in that I want to keep my old habits I picked up in Colombia, Chile, and Israel and apply them to this new living situation as well. That means walking around a lot and going for runs to explore the area.

First Day of School (Work)

I always remember dreading the first day of school, whether it was elementary, middle school, high school, or university. I loved having a summer break and the days leading up to the first day of the year were not fun for me. It meant new teachers, new classes, new people, challenges and changes. It also meant I couldn’t relax anymore and just enjoy my days, carefree.

I experienced something similar, but not quite as pointed, as my first day of work approached. Work meaning my first day of a normal salaried position in 5+ years. This time around there is no contract and I have no end date (i.e. EndTS = NULL). I’m here for good, unless I switch jobs. I am also being paid to perform and provide value to the organization, so that is in my mind as well. They picked me for a reason.

Today as I went through my first day, I had mild feelings of “this stinks, I don’t have control of my schedule anymore” and “I have to be disciplined and stay on task” especially since I am working remotely. How do you get a sense for the culture of an organization and its people without meeting them in person or being immersed into that environment? It is hard to do, but I guess everyone is in the same boat.

Either way, I feel these are steps in the right direction. It will take me time to get my feet under me, become comfortable, and start being useful. But so far the mission (bring people together to build homes, communities and hope) and values (humility, courage, and accountability) of the organization strongly resonate with me, so that makes me hopeful. The other important part for me is that I enjoy what I do day-to-day, so that is still TBD. But hopefully that will fall into place.

Last Few Days of Freedom

My official start date for work is this coming Monday, July 12. What have I been doing in the meantime? You’d think I’d be travelling, meeting people, taking advantage of my last remaining time off for the foreseeable future. Nope, this time it feels much different. The last few times I had breaks in between gigs it felt much more carefree — no commitments, few responsibilities, and still in exploration mode.

This time I feel like it’s time to settle down and get back into work mode. Once I got back, my goals in general order were: 1) find a job, 2) find a place to live, 3) buy furniture, and 4) move into my new place and take all my stuff. I found a job, an apartment, and have started to buy furniture. Ideally, I’d have moved into my new place before starting work, but there will be overlap. The timeline was condensed a bit, especially since it wasn’t clear at first which city I’d be working in. Given that fact, I feel I’ve done pretty well so far. I had given myself an initial estimate of three months to do all this, and I’m still on track for that. Here’s how it has shaked out:

May 1 – Arrive in San Diego
May 2 – Start job search in earnest
June 16 – Receive job offer
June 21 – Accept job offer
June 22 – Start looking for an apartment
June 30 – Find an apartment
July 12 – Start job
July 31 (est.) – Move in to apartment

I found a nice apartment in La Jolla which I’m excited about. The building itself is old and nothing fancy, but the unit I have is newly renovated and looks very nice. It’s tiny — 1 bedroom and 1 bathroom — but has almost everything I was looking for, except for a garage. It does have a covered carport, so I’m planning to use my car cover for the first time! It’s a good thing I kept it.

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  Kitchen

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  Living room

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  Bathroom

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  Bedroom

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  Carport

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  Most of my worldly possessions – minus clothes and some new furniture

One of the good things about my new job is that it’s remote and I won’t need to drive anywhere. My apartment also has a great location — right in downtown — and I can walk to the library, tennis courts, restaurants, and the shore. The beach is a six minute walk away! I’m very excited. After almost two years of living with cockroaches and not having my independence, I want to enjoy the next year. And I really wanted to be close to the water too, that’s one thing I took with me from my time in Haifa.

Now about La Jolla itself. This is where the upper-class lives in San Diego. I’m talking multi-million dollar homes, sometimes tens of millions of dollars. Bentleys are common, there’s a Lamborghini shop a few minutes walk from me. I’m not rich and definitely not high-class, so I already feel out of place. But I don’t care. I’m doing what I want to do right now and what makes me happy.

I bought a bedroom set earlier this week, so now I have somewhere to sleep. I just need to get a couch and I think that will be good enough for me to move in. Here’s my come-uppance from my liquidation sale of 4+ years ago when I got rid of most of my stuff. It’s kind of daunting having to re-buy everything, but at the same time it’s OK. A lot of my old furniture was inherited, so I didn’t pick it. And filling out a one-bedroom apartment vs. a good-sized house is much more manageable. I also have some souvenirs from my travels that I’ve picked up over the last five years, so I’m looking forward to actually decorating my place for the first time and and giving it some style.

I’m feeling excited and also nervous. Hopefully once I get my first week of work under my belt, that will give me some more definition and settle me down. And in a few months, I hope I will have created a new routine and be even more comfortable.

Job Search Complete

I got back to San Diego on May 1st and began my job search the following day in earnest. That was my first goal — find a job. Once I did that, I would then know where I’d be living and I could then find a place to live and move all my stuff out of my parents’ house. It’s been sitting here for over 4 years, along with my car, and while I’m very thankful they let me keep my stuff here, it’s time to move it all out. I don’t have a ton — 2 tall garage cabinets worth of stuff, a closet with clothes and other items, a coffee table, a corner table, racket stringer and my car. I sold all my big items before renting my house out.

Last week, I accepted a job offer from Habitat for Humanity International as a data modeler. Woohoo! It’s kind of funny, since all along I’ve been applying for jobs as data engineer (rejected!), software engineer (rejected!!) and database developer (rejected!!!). The first one I ever came across as a data modeler and I got it. Maybe that’s what I am, not a software / database engineer. Amazing. Now what exactly does a data modeler do? I didn’t have a good answer for it until I looked it up online. I’ve created and maintained many data models before so I know inherently I have the required skills, so I knew I would be fine.

They are still doing a background check and finalizing everything, but my start date has been set for July 12. I remember my start date for my first job was also around the same week of July, 16 years ago. I can’t believe I entered the workforce 16 years ago. My last non-peso paycheck was in January 2016. Since then, I’ve made a total of about $15,000 USD in wages in 5.5 years. In 2017, I started to receive rental income so that helped tide me over.

I quasi-re-entered the work force in Haifa, in that I was back in an office environment working on a team developing software. But it was not exactly a real-world environment since we were all volunteers and everything was provided for us. Coronavirus struck during the time I was in Israel and it seems now that the real world has changed and won’t be going back — at least not soon anyways — to the 100% full-time office environment.

Anyways, philosophizing aside, how the heck did I end up getting this job? And what was the process like? Keep in mind, this was my first time truly and freely trying to find a job. I had almost zero experience in this type of activity before undertaking this endeavor. I was an intern at NCR in 2002 and my group offered me a job after I graduated in 2005. I don’t think I even did an interview, I can’t remember.

I started out very naïvely in the beginning — I was applying to one job at a time, which got me nowhere quickly. So I started talking to my old buddies, a few of them were managers now, and got their advice. That seemed to me the way to go — networking, something I am not adept at. But if I could just find one person on the inside to vouch for me, I think that would do the trick. So that became my next tactic. That often involved asking a friend to contact their friend and became a long waiting game.

Once I got back to San Diego, I said forget this and started scouring Indeed.com every morning for jobs I felt I could do and applied for them. At first it was fun and exciting, but it soon became a pain in the butt, especially as I would get no responses from anyone — just an occasional “no thanks” — and I had to keep filling out the same information over and over again. I must have applied for 100 jobs. Here’s an estimated breakdown:

80 Received no response
20 Received a response
.. 15 Rejected
…. 5 Phone interview
…… 3 No follow up (i.e. they were not interested)
…… 2 Secondary interviews
…….. 1 I withdrew my application (not a good fit)
…….. 1 I received and accepted an offer

** This doesn’t include the unsolicited offers I received to be a parking attendant or personal assistant 🙂

It took about a month and a half of actively searching to find a job. That doesn’t seem too bad, but in the middle, it was very frustrating. I felt like I was just spinning my wheels and getting nowhere fast. I re-wrote my resume with the help of a creative-minded friend. Now it looks really cool. I paid for a course to learn AWS, which would help bring me up to speed with 2021. I didn’t feel right unless I was doing something each day to meet my goal.

And then — like I’ve said before, it just takes one — it happened. And now, it is most likely over. I feel a sense of relief and also anxiety at the same time. I have left one big thing behind me (the job search) and now have another big thing in front of me — a new job! I have also been spending the past week trying to find a place to live. It feels like there are a couple big uncertainties right now so I am feeling a little unsettled again. I’m not really exercising as I’d like to and not sleeping too great either. I know that in a couple months I’ll be closer to normal, though, so that’s what I look forward to.

So how did I get this position anyways? Funny you ask, it was a combination of my methods above. I found this job opening on Indeed. com and I absolutely loved Habitat For Humanity. When I was organizing volunteer projects at Teradata, each year I’d set up one HFH project and they were always my favorites ones. They were so organized that you’d be busy the entire time, you would learn something new and you were building something, which are all things I love.

So as soon as I saw HFH and data modeler and SQL I jumped at it and applied. I even put together a cover letter to include with my application. I then noticed that the position was in Atlanta and checked with my cousin who lives there and is much better at networking than me. I sent her all the details and she must have worked her magic because somehow it ended up working out. So by sheer determination, some strategy, and good will, my efforts seem to have paid off.

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What did I learn? A few things:

1. The most important factor is having an “in” or an internal contact who can vouch for you. This will help get your resume in the right peoples’ hands and give them more confidence that you could be a good fit.
   
2. Get the word out. Talk to your friends and let them know you’re looking. You never know what nuggets may come out or what connections may be made.
   
3. Be genuinely interested in the position(s) you are applying for. I was so excited about the HFH opportunity that I spent a good hour preparing a new customized cover letter for that job. I’m guessing my enthusiasm showed and was well-received.
   
4. Have a U.S. phone number! A lot of the applications required a U.S. phone number and and applying for jobs without one was challenging. How would someone even call you without a U.S. phone number?

The job is remote, which will take a little time to adjust to, but in the end, I think that may be a good thing — much more flexibility, but we’ll see how it goes. I won’t have to deal with support or be on-call. Thank the Lord! On paper it sounds like a great job. And it seems like a good fit on both sides. Let’s talk again in about six months and see how we’re feeling then.

I was randomly going through some old documents and came across one with some notes I had from when I was brainstorming the type of work I wanted to do when I returned to the real world. This is from June 2019, right before I left for Israel: United Way, Big Brothers Big Sisters, Education Pioneers, Habitat for Humanity, World Reader, Net impact. Funny how when you think something, sometimes it happens — in this case a couple years later.

Another nice thing that came to mind was from a list of life goals I wrote down in 2008:

Life goals — 8/17/08

I was looking for two things in a new job: 1) something I enjoy doing on a day-to-day basis and 2) working for an organization with a social mission, or at least one that I feel a connection to. From everything I’ve heard and felt so far, these two seem like they will be fulfilled. So Goal #2 is starting to look good. And the cherry on top, is that I got a decent raise over my last “real” job, so Goal #4 seems to be on track too. Not bad.

A Missed Opportunity

Have you ever walked away from an encounter and then realized you should have said or done something differently only after the fact? It could be a witty retort that came to you thirty seconds too late. Or not realizing that someone was giving you cues to ask them out or spend more time with together? Or if someone could be nudged into letting you drive their Ferrari? What?

I’ve experienced the first couple scenarios above on more than one occasion. The Ferrari one, well…it’s a bit of a stretch, but I felt the pangs of that one this afternoon. One of my bucket list items is to drive a Ferrari. But here’s the catch — I can’t just go to a Ferrari dealership or rental place and do it that way. It has to be organic and natural and in-the-moment. For example, it could be that I go to a friend’s house and he opens a garage door revealing a red Ferrari which he offers me to take for a spin. My mouth would be agape in disbelief and I would be the happiest, beyond happiest person for the next thirty minutes driving a Ferrari for the first time.

I would be on Cloud Nine. How do I know that? Today as I parked my car I saw two spots away from me was parked a late 1980s red Ferrari. And the owner was just getting in. Obviously my brain could not comprehend what was going on and I lost all control over my body movements. I just exited my car as if in a trance and started to gravitate towards the red Ferrari. I told the guy over his window, “I’m sure you hear this five times a day, but can I take a lap around your car?” I meant it in the sense that I wanted to just walk around his car one time and take it all in, but he thought I was asking to take a lap in his car (i.e. to drive it). He was very nice, smiled and declined, saying something which I didn’t remember.

It looked like this (I think)

I clarified that I just wanted to take a lap AROUND his car and not IN it and he understood. I then showed him my Ferrari keychain my mom gave me over two decades ago and told him that one day I hoped to have one too. I was surprised I could even articulate myself, without drooling all over the place. I was just in such awe at the beauty of his car and being so close to it. Now I think you can understand why I would be over the moon actually driving one. It would be the experience of a lifetime for me.

About fifteen minutes after my encounter with Ferrari man, I was leaving Subway with sandwiches in tow, and I remembered my bucket list! And then I started kicking myself! It was an extreme long-shot, but here was the opportunity I was waiting for. I just happened to come across a friendly Ferrari owner as he was getting into his car. He didn’t seem in any hurry, nor was I. I talked to him and told him how I loved Ferraris, but not once did the bucket list come up in my mind. So I felt like it was a missed opportunity. It was a combination of this occurrence not being in the realm of possibilities for me and also just not thinking quickly enough.

The moment was organic, the Ferrari was there, the opportunity was there, but my brain was MIA. Now I am prepared for next time. Who knows, maybe I’ll come across the same guy again.

Why Do I Want a Job?

This is a question I haven’t spent enough time asking myself. I have been focused ever since I got back to San Diego on finding a job, but why do I want one? Here’s what comes to mind:

1. To make money
2. To know where I will be going/living
3. To get my own place
4. To continue with my career
5. To have more structure/purpose to my days

Now what kind of job do I want? These have been my two guiding principles: 1) One where I work for an organization that has a social mission I believe in and 2) one that I enjoy doing day-to-day. From my experience in Israel, I learned that #2 is more important to me — it doesn’t matter if I save every whale if I don’t enjoy the type of work I’m doing. With that in mind, I pretty early on expanded my acceptable job pool.

I created an account on Indeed.com and each morning I get 2-3 e-mails for new job postings. I read through them and look for the ones where I think I am qualified and then get to applying for them. I heard crickets for the first 30 or so I applied for, which made me realize I needed a new approach — a more direct one. So my new strategy is to try to get a contact on the inside to find out info for me and possibly push me to the right people. That seems to be sort of paying dividends, but nothing definitive yet.

I also re-did my resume with the help of a friend and converted it into a functional resume. It looks beautiful now, with some style. My new resume has given me a slightly renewed hope as I am not the best at selling myself. Maybe this will make a difference. I paid for an online course to learn AWS and have been studying it the past couple weeks. It’s been pretty dry so far, but I feel it is filling in the gaps, which is the point. I can actually explain more-or-less what EC2, S3, Route 53, etc. are and how to use them. So that’s a start.

I work best when there’s a carrot or goal dangling in front of me. When I committed myself to writing that initial web app, I had to deliver it, so I was 100% focused on it. Now I want to find a job, so I know that learning AWS will be useful for me, so that’s my current carrot.

I’ve been going through the seven stages of grief. At first I was really excited about finding a job and the endless possibilities. Then I was down because I realized it would be more work than I thought and my experience wasn’t going to sell itself. Then I went through a stage where I just wanted a job, any job! Now I have more or less equilibrated and am better. I am equipped with a nicer resume and more of a game plan. My focus has somewhat returned again to finding the ideal: 1) social mission I believe in and 2) work I enjoy day-to-day.

I had an initial telephone interview with Habitat For Humanity yesterday, which was encouraging for me. I love HFH and they have a social mission that I believe in. They also have a position I think I’m well-suited for, so there seems to be potential there. There is another organization I like in San Diego called Classy, so I’m hoping to make some inroads there as well. That would be perfect — San Diego, social mission, and work I enjoy (I think). We shall see. Either way, I am a little more calm now which is a good sign. It should lend itself to better decision-making on my part.

But why do I want a job? I think the biggest reason is so I can continue to move forward. I don’t like the feeling of sitting around or moving sideways, or even worse, backwards. I always need be moving forward. One of my trepidations, though, is ending up with a non-fulfilling job where I make money but feel no connection to the work I do, my teammates or the organization. I don’t know how I will react or feel in that type of environment. At least I I will have gone through the exercise of looking for a job and will more or less know the paces.

I have started reading again! One of the first things I did when I got back to San Diego was to get a new library card. As soon as the lady gave me my new card I held it up in the air and said something to the effect of “oh, how I’ve missed you!” I told the lady it had been almost two years since I’d checked out a book and I was so happy. She smiled too, since I’m guessing she doesn’t see that kind of joy from patrons too often. This is a library after all. Shhhhh.

The last couple years as I read the news online I’d kept track of books I wanted to read, so once I got back I had a few all ready to check out: 1) Too Much and Never Enough by Mary Trump, 2) Disloyal: A Memoir by Michael Cohen, and 3) The Three Ring Circus. The first two are about Trump — I had really wanted to read these two. They didn’t disappoint, as they helped explain more about that crazy guy, assuming they are true. The third one is about Kobe, Shaq, and Phil Jackson during their Lakers years. I already read a similar book, The Last Season, but this one seems to chronicle the entire journey, not just 2004. I have 10 more books on my “to read” list, which I’ll hopefully get through in the next few months. I’ve been gobbling these books up, they are my weakness.

Making Barkacs Proud

The first time I heard of Professor Barkacs was from a friend who was telling me about his experience at USD. Every student always has one or two favorite teachers that stick with them and I suppose this was one of them. So when I finally got the opportunity to take a class with him I was excited. And I was not disappointed as he was also one of my favorite instructors. He has this energy, charisma and joy when teaching and class never really felt like class with him. He’s one of those few people who I looked forward to going to a class even when I didn’t feel like going to class.

I took a negotiations course with him and learned some of the science behind negotiating as well as got some practice experience in the classroom. Nothing is as effective as real-world practice, though, and I got a bunch of that in when I sold most of my stuff in 2017 before moving out of my house. I got a whole lot more during my travels the past five years in South America and the Middle East, specifically.

So naturally, I feel much more comfortable now. I had a couple items I wanted to sell when I got back to San Diego, one of them being my Total Gym. So I listed it on Craigslist and Ebay, knowing I was in no rush to sell and in no dire need for cash. In other words, I was in a good selling position as my sole desire to sell was that I didn’t need the thing.

I had a guy purchase it on Ebay — my first time selling something there — and I was excited! Then I learned a couple things: 1) Ebay takes a huge chunk of your sale in commission and 2) buyers don’t always read all the details. I sold it for $400 and Ebay would only give me $347. They kept over 13% for commission. That is absurd. Thankfully, point #2 came into play and saved the day.

I had listed the item as “local pickup only”, meaning that the buyer would have to come and pick it up. So the guy who bought it from me sent me this message:

No sir I am in Virginia. I made a mistake by trying to purchase an item that’s local pickup only. I thought that meant it be sent to my local post office…

I found this annoying and funny at the same time. But oh well, I guess you just have to take people at their word sometimes. I approved his return request and re-listed the item.

A few days later I got a call from someone named George off Craigslist who was interested and arranged for him to come and take a look. From past experience I know that people can say anything but until they actually show up they don’t have much credibility with me. In other words, until I actually see the guy, I won’t believe he’s a serious buyer. So I proceeded cautiously and reminded myself not to get my hopes up too high.

George eventually comes and I show him the Total Gym and he seems happy with it. Then he asks if I’ll take $350 for it. Usually people make a justification as to why they want a discount, but he didn’t, so I figured he was just trying to see if I’d bite. I just smiled and semi-laughed, not in a condescending way I hope. but didn’t answer “yes” or “no.” Honestly, $350 was the lower limit I had in mind before even meeting the guy, but I didn’t say anything and just figured let’s see how it plays out.

He then told me he didn’t have any cash on him (wow!) and that he’d have to go to a bank real quick and get it. This is where my Barkacs-sense and past experience kicked in. If this guy leaves he may never come back! And that’s ok, but I’m not going to wait around all day. I just met him and don’t know if he’s bailing or serious. So I asked him to be back by 2pm, telling myself mentally I’d stick around until 2:15pm. That’s my 15 minute grace period I give people now, a habit I picked up from living in South America.

Lo and behold, the guy returns at 2pm, with cash in hand. Nice, this may actually happen. I load the box into his truck and he forks over the dough, saying he didn’t even count it. So I count it, it’s all there and we’re good to go. I had a fleeting thought of giving him back a $20 since he actually followed through and bought the darn thing, but then I thought to myself, “why?” He was happy he was getting a good deal and I was happy I got my asking price, so I left it there.

I fought off a couple of my impulses: 1) Assuming people are flaky since these are one-time transactions, 2) Trying to be nice and make others feel good, and 3) Compromising with a “meet me halfway” type of resolution. Schmoozing aside, this was just a business transaction, so I tried to treat it as such and in the end it all worked out. Thanks Barkacs!

A Wake of Destruction in My Path

I spent most of my first week settling in, organizing things and getting my affairs in order after being gone for so long. With most of the busy work complete, what am I supposed to do now? Find a job!

I was so excited early on about the possibilities of searching for a job for the first time. Slowly reality set in that it would require some work, which made me lose all motivation. And now that I have more time and energy to focus on it, and I’ve been actually going through some of the steps, I’m feeling a little better about it again. Only a little, though.

I have learned a couple things so far:

1. I need to play catch up
   I haven’t been in the “real world” for several years and I need to refresh myself on some of my old technologies as well as learn some new ones. As I keep reading job postings and start to interview with companies I am starting to understand this better. I think my first goal is to get more hands-on experience with AWS
   
   
2. I need to get better at selling myself
   I’m the kind of guy who tends to just play his cards and see where they fall. If someone likes me, great. If not, no prob bob. But in some cases, I guess in most cases in life, you need to promote yourself to get ahead. I remember there was one study we came across in business school that showed that the people that talk the most are the ones that get ahead the most. It doesn’t matter as much that what they say is great or profound, but just that they are perceived as someone with an opinion and as a go-getter. Hello Trump. I have a strange story and unique experience that I think just needs to be framed in the right way.

It’s a learning process and I learn by doing. I had a couple phone interviews on Wednesday, so those gave me a good idea of what I need to work on. I am slowly becoming a power user of Indeed.com. Every morning, I spend an hour or two and read through my job alerts and apply for the ones that look interesting. I may even send a message to one of the employers this week too.

I went for my first run while back in San Diego earlier this week. It was nice. It reminded me of why I like San Diego — it’s sunny and not super-hot (yet). Not much else is going on. Just applying for jobs. Once I find a job, that determines where I will live and I can look for a place to live. We shall see.

On April 28, the day after I left Colombia, the nationwide strikes started and there have been 40+ deaths due to the ensuing violence. Just a few day later on April 30 there was a stampede in Israel that killed 40+ people. A couple days ago news broke that 30+ people were killed in the clashes in Israel. A couple times a year in Israel, we had to do earthquake and bomb drills. Each one is different, but we were required to know where our bomb shelter was located. I could never find mine and figured I’d never need it, but now I see that it was useful information. There are also sirens that the government plays for the different types of emergencies. Watching some of the videos from this week’s activities and hearing those sirens was eerie for me. I recognized the sirens immediately, but not the rockets actually flying through the air. Pretty scary.

Strikes in Colombia – April 2021

Rockets being intercepted in Tel Aviv – May 2021

I’ve spoken with some of the classes participating in the incentive program this year and also shown them a presentation about my experience in Israel. At the end I tell them about how each building has a bomb shelter, usually in the basement, and then play a video that I took in one of the bomb shelters for them. I remember feeling a sense of sadness and awe as I recorded that video. Sadness in that it was necessary for buildings to have a bomb shelter. Awe in the sense that I was actually inside one and exploring.

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It seems like I left Israel and Colombia just in time. In other news, I finally bought new shoes today! I feel so refreshed now. My last pair of shoes were the worst, cheapest ones I’ve ever owned. I learned my lesson from them, spend a little more money to buy good quality shoes and check the materials label on the inside. So, I tried to employ these two learnings today. I started at my high-end option first — Target. No luck there, so I went back to Old Faithful — Ross. I love Ross. Sometimes I confuse it with Marshalls, since I have no idea how to differentiate the two. They both sell the same stuff, except that I never find what I want at Marshalls…only at Ross Dress for Less. I also like Payless Shoesource (when it existed). See the theme here — “for less” and “pay less” 🙂

But I reminded myself I must change my habits – “pay more” for better quality. So, I updated my process: 1) Find a shoe that I like, 2) Look for leather materials, and 3) Check the price. There were 5-6 styles that I liked and out of those, all of them were 100% man-made in China, except for one. This might be my only shot. So, I checked Criteria #3 – Price. Oh my god, $17!!! There’s got to be something wrong with this shoe. So I tried on my usual size 11 and it was huge. Where the heck was this thing made? This was the only shoe I saw that was made in India.

I kept trying smaller and smaller shoes until I found the equivalent of 11, which turned out to be 9.5. So weird. It fit pretty well, it looked nice, the top was made of leather and it was only $17. It turns out it was marked down a couple times. The stars aligned and the gods were smiling on me this morning and I feel like a new person now. I feel good about them because they are mostly made of leather, but we’ll see how they hold up. I guess you could say I’m evolving. Slowly.

Another interesting revelation I had today was in Albertsons. I ended up in the cereal aisle somehow and was astounded at the amount of cereal available to choose from. I remember the dinky 1/2 aisle of cereal in the Russian markets I used to frequent in Israel — I always got the same one, Quaker Oatmeal squares for $7. Seven dollars. That makes me cringe. America is the land of opportunity and plentiful selection. It feels nice to be back.

I was blown away by the variety and quantity of cereal in Albertsons