Why Do I Want a Job?

This is a question I haven’t spent enough time asking myself. I have been focused ever since I got back to San Diego on finding a job, but why do I want one? Here’s what comes to mind:

1. To make money
2. To know where I will be going/living
3. To get my own place
4. To continue with my career
5. To have more structure/purpose to my days

Now what kind of job do I want? These have been my two guiding principles: 1) One where I work for an organization that has a social mission I believe in and 2) one that I enjoy doing day-to-day. From my experience in Israel, I learned that #2 is more important to me — it doesn’t matter if I save every whale if I don’t enjoy the type of work I’m doing. With that in mind, I pretty early on expanded my acceptable job pool.

I created an account on Indeed.com and each morning I get 2-3 e-mails for new job postings. I read through them and look for the ones where I think I am qualified and then get to applying for them. I heard crickets for the first 30 or so I applied for, which made me realize I needed a new approach — a more direct one. So my new strategy is to try to get a contact on the inside to find out info for me and possibly push me to the right people. That seems to be sort of paying dividends, but nothing definitive yet.

I also re-did my resume with the help of a friend and converted it into a functional resume. It looks beautiful now, with some style. My new resume has given me a slightly renewed hope as I am not the best at selling myself. Maybe this will make a difference. I paid for an online course to learn AWS and have been studying it the past couple weeks. It’s been pretty dry so far, but I feel it is filling in the gaps, which is the point. I can actually explain more-or-less what EC2, S3, Route 53, etc. are and how to use them. So that’s a start.

I work best when there’s a carrot or goal dangling in front of me. When I committed myself to writing that initial web app, I had to deliver it, so I was 100% focused on it. Now I want to find a job, so I know that learning AWS will be useful for me, so that’s my current carrot.

I’ve been going through the seven stages of grief. At first I was really excited about finding a job and the endless possibilities. Then I was down because I realized it would be more work than I thought and my experience wasn’t going to sell itself. Then I went through a stage where I just wanted a job, any job! Now I have more or less equilibrated and am better. I am equipped with a nicer resume and more of a game plan. My focus has somewhat returned again to finding the ideal: 1) social mission I believe in and 2) work I enjoy day-to-day.

I had an initial telephone interview with Habitat For Humanity yesterday, which was encouraging for me. I love HFH and they have a social mission that I believe in. They also have a position I think I’m well-suited for, so there seems to be potential there. There is another organization I like in San Diego called Classy, so I’m hoping to make some inroads there as well. That would be perfect — San Diego, social mission, and work I enjoy (I think). We shall see. Either way, I am a little more calm now which is a good sign. It should lend itself to better decision-making on my part.

But why do I want a job? I think the biggest reason is so I can continue to move forward. I don’t like the feeling of sitting around or moving sideways, or even worse, backwards. I always need be moving forward. One of my trepidations, though, is ending up with a non-fulfilling job where I make money but feel no connection to the work I do, my teammates or the organization. I don’t know how I will react or feel in that type of environment. At least I I will have gone through the exercise of looking for a job and will more or less know the paces.

I have started reading again! One of the first things I did when I got back to San Diego was to get a new library card. As soon as the lady gave me my new card I held it up in the air and said something to the effect of “oh, how I’ve missed you!” I told the lady it had been almost two years since I’d checked out a book and I was so happy. She smiled too, since I’m guessing she doesn’t see that kind of joy from patrons too often. This is a library after all. Shhhhh.

The last couple years as I read the news online I’d kept track of books I wanted to read, so once I got back I had a few all ready to check out: 1) Too Much and Never Enough by Mary Trump, 2) Disloyal: A Memoir by Michael Cohen, and 3) The Three Ring Circus. The first two are about Trump — I had really wanted to read these two. They didn’t disappoint, as they helped explain more about that crazy guy, assuming they are true. The third one is about Kobe, Shaq, and Phil Jackson during their Lakers years. I already read a similar book, The Last Season, but this one seems to chronicle the entire journey, not just 2004. I have 10 more books on my “to read” list, which I’ll hopefully get through in the next few months. I’ve been gobbling these books up, they are my weakness.

Making Barkacs Proud

The first time I heard of Professor Barkacs was from a friend who was telling me about his experience at USD. Every student always has one or two favorite teachers that stick with them and I suppose this was one of them. So when I finally got the opportunity to take a class with him I was excited. And I was not disappointed as he was also one of my favorite instructors. He has this energy, charisma and joy when teaching and class never really felt like class with him. He’s one of those few people who I looked forward to going to a class even when I didn’t feel like going to class.

I took a negotiations course with him and learned some of the science behind negotiating as well as got some practice experience in the classroom. Nothing is as effective as real-world practice, though, and I got a bunch of that in when I sold most of my stuff in 2017 before moving out of my house. I got a whole lot more during my travels the past five years in South America and the Middle East, specifically.

So naturally, I feel much more comfortable now. I had a couple items I wanted to sell when I got back to San Diego, one of them being my Total Gym. So I listed it on Craigslist and Ebay, knowing I was in no rush to sell and in no dire need for cash. In other words, I was in a good selling position as my sole desire to sell was that I didn’t need the thing.

I had a guy purchase it on Ebay — my first time selling something there — and I was excited! Then I learned a couple things: 1) Ebay takes a huge chunk of your sale in commission and 2) buyers don’t always read all the details. I sold it for $400 and Ebay would only give me $347. They kept over 13% for commission. That is absurd. Thankfully, point #2 came into play and saved the day.

I had listed the item as “local pickup only”, meaning that the buyer would have to come and pick it up. So the guy who bought it from me sent me this message:

No sir I am in Virginia. I made a mistake by trying to purchase an item that’s local pickup only. I thought that meant it be sent to my local post office…

I found this annoying and funny at the same time. But oh well, I guess you just have to take people at their word sometimes. I approved his return request and re-listed the item.

A few days later I got a call from someone named George off Craigslist who was interested and arranged for him to come and take a look. From past experience I know that people can say anything but until they actually show up they don’t have much credibility with me. In other words, until I actually see the guy, I won’t believe he’s a serious buyer. So I proceeded cautiously and reminded myself not to get my hopes up too high.

George eventually comes and I show him the Total Gym and he seems happy with it. Then he asks if I’ll take $350 for it. Usually people make a justification as to why they want a discount, but he didn’t, so I figured he was just trying to see if I’d bite. I just smiled and semi-laughed, not in a condescending way I hope. but didn’t answer “yes” or “no.” Honestly, $350 was the lower limit I had in mind before even meeting the guy, but I didn’t say anything and just figured let’s see how it plays out.

He then told me he didn’t have any cash on him (wow!) and that he’d have to go to a bank real quick and get it. This is where my Barkacs-sense and past experience kicked in. If this guy leaves he may never come back! And that’s ok, but I’m not going to wait around all day. I just met him and don’t know if he’s bailing or serious. So I asked him to be back by 2pm, telling myself mentally I’d stick around until 2:15pm. That’s my 15 minute grace period I give people now, a habit I picked up from living in South America.

Lo and behold, the guy returns at 2pm, with cash in hand. Nice, this may actually happen. I load the box into his truck and he forks over the dough, saying he didn’t even count it. So I count it, it’s all there and we’re good to go. I had a fleeting thought of giving him back a $20 since he actually followed through and bought the darn thing, but then I thought to myself, “why?” He was happy he was getting a good deal and I was happy I got my asking price, so I left it there.

I fought off a couple of my impulses: 1) Assuming people are flaky since these are one-time transactions, 2) Trying to be nice and make others feel good, and 3) Compromising with a “meet me halfway” type of resolution. Schmoozing aside, this was just a business transaction, so I tried to treat it as such and in the end it all worked out. Thanks Barkacs!

A Wake of Destruction in My Path

I spent most of my first week settling in, organizing things and getting my affairs in order after being gone for so long. With most of the busy work complete, what am I supposed to do now? Find a job!

I was so excited early on about the possibilities of searching for a job for the first time. Slowly reality set in that it would require some work, which made me lose all motivation. And now that I have more time and energy to focus on it, and I’ve been actually going through some of the steps, I’m feeling a little better about it again. Only a little, though.

I have learned a couple things so far:

1. I need to play catch up
   I haven’t been in the “real world” for several years and I need to refresh myself on some of my old technologies as well as learn some new ones. As I keep reading job postings and start to interview with companies I am starting to understand this better. I think my first goal is to get more hands-on experience with AWS
   
   
2. I need to get better at selling myself
   I’m the kind of guy who tends to just play his cards and see where they fall. If someone likes me, great. If not, no prob bob. But in some cases, I guess in most cases in life, you need to promote yourself to get ahead. I remember there was one study we came across in business school that showed that the people that talk the most are the ones that get ahead the most. It doesn’t matter as much that what they say is great or profound, but just that they are perceived as someone with an opinion and as a go-getter. Hello Trump. I have a strange story and unique experience that I think just needs to be framed in the right way.

It’s a learning process and I learn by doing. I had a couple phone interviews on Wednesday, so those gave me a good idea of what I need to work on. I am slowly becoming a power user of Indeed.com. Every morning, I spend an hour or two and read through my job alerts and apply for the ones that look interesting. I may even send a message to one of the employers this week too.

I went for my first run while back in San Diego earlier this week. It was nice. It reminded me of why I like San Diego — it’s sunny and not super-hot (yet). Not much else is going on. Just applying for jobs. Once I find a job, that determines where I will live and I can look for a place to live. We shall see.

On April 28, the day after I left Colombia, the nationwide strikes started and there have been 40+ deaths due to the ensuing violence. Just a few day later on April 30 there was a stampede in Israel that killed 40+ people. A couple days ago news broke that 30+ people were killed in the clashes in Israel. A couple times a year in Israel, we had to do earthquake and bomb drills. Each one is different, but we were required to know where our bomb shelter was located. I could never find mine and figured I’d never need it, but now I see that it was useful information. There are also sirens that the government plays for the different types of emergencies. Watching some of the videos from this week’s activities and hearing those sirens was eerie for me. I recognized the sirens immediately, but not the rockets actually flying through the air. Pretty scary.

Strikes in Colombia – April 2021

Rockets being intercepted in Tel Aviv – May 2021

I’ve spoken with some of the classes participating in the incentive program this year and also shown them a presentation about my experience in Israel. At the end I tell them about how each building has a bomb shelter, usually in the basement, and then play a video that I took in one of the bomb shelters for them. I remember feeling a sense of sadness and awe as I recorded that video. Sadness in that it was necessary for buildings to have a bomb shelter. Awe in the sense that I was actually inside one and exploring.

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It seems like I left Israel and Colombia just in time. In other news, I finally bought new shoes today! I feel so refreshed now. My last pair of shoes were the worst, cheapest ones I’ve ever owned. I learned my lesson from them, spend a little more money to buy good quality shoes and check the materials label on the inside. So, I tried to employ these two learnings today. I started at my high-end option first — Target. No luck there, so I went back to Old Faithful — Ross. I love Ross. Sometimes I confuse it with Marshalls, since I have no idea how to differentiate the two. They both sell the same stuff, except that I never find what I want at Marshalls…only at Ross Dress for Less. I also like Payless Shoesource (when it existed). See the theme here — “for less” and “pay less” 🙂

But I reminded myself I must change my habits – “pay more” for better quality. So, I updated my process: 1) Find a shoe that I like, 2) Look for leather materials, and 3) Check the price. There were 5-6 styles that I liked and out of those, all of them were 100% man-made in China, except for one. This might be my only shot. So, I checked Criteria #3 – Price. Oh my god, $17!!! There’s got to be something wrong with this shoe. So I tried on my usual size 11 and it was huge. Where the heck was this thing made? This was the only shoe I saw that was made in India.

I kept trying smaller and smaller shoes until I found the equivalent of 11, which turned out to be 9.5. So weird. It fit pretty well, it looked nice, the top was made of leather and it was only $17. It turns out it was marked down a couple times. The stars aligned and the gods were smiling on me this morning and I feel like a new person now. I feel good about them because they are mostly made of leather, but we’ll see how they hold up. I guess you could say I’m evolving. Slowly.

Another interesting revelation I had today was in Albertsons. I ended up in the cereal aisle somehow and was astounded at the amount of cereal available to choose from. I remember the dinky 1/2 aisle of cereal in the Russian markets I used to frequent in Israel — I always got the same one, Quaker Oatmeal squares for $7. Seven dollars. That makes me cringe. America is the land of opportunity and plentiful selection. It feels nice to be back.

I was blown away by the variety and quantity of cereal in Albertsons

Back in San Diego, For Good?

I made my way back to San Diego and am staying with my parents for now until I find a job and place to live. How would I describe being back? Well, it’s a strange mix of feelings. The first one is just “phew” — there’s no other way to describe it. I guess it’s a mix of relief and happiness. The more I think about it, the more I realize I really was not happy in Israel. Being removed for a month has given me some time and distance to arrive at that conclusion.

I just feel comfortable here, back in the U.S. and in San Diego. Things are easier and less complicated. I don’t have to think about another God-forsaken cockroach again, among other things. It doesn’t even slip into my consciousness. I have changed, though — my habits and my tastes. I guess that comes with age and experience. I was travelling the last month and it was great. People are flying again, which was a good sign.

I took three PCR tests in 23 days:

1. Haifa: arranged and paid for by BWC; test taken at a hospital; painless; results in a few hours
2. Istanbul: arranged by my hotel and paid for by me; male nurse arrived at hotel on motorcycle and administered test; a little unsanitary (same q-tip in mouth and both nostrils) but not uncomfortable; results the next day; about $32 USD
3. Duitama: arranged and paid for by me; taken at a place called Comfaboy in a pseudo-medical facility; results in 20 minutes; the doctor jammed that q-tip pretty far down, most uncomfortable of the three; about $28 USD

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  Israel – PCR

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  Turkey – PCR

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  Colombia – Antigen

The one in Duitama was actually an antigen test. Everything in Colombia seems to be so informal. There was no appointment, you just walk-in and tell the security guard you’re there for a PCR test. The guy tells me where to go to meet the doctor who asks me a few questions and then tells me to meet her at the next door. She sits me down, jams that 6-inch q-tip in as far as she can and says we’re done. This one went so deep it caused my eyes to water so I told her “no me gustó” and then asked her if I get a cookie or a prize? She laughed and said no.

I was then instructed to pay my bill in order to receive the results and to wait in the lobby. No problem. I did that and then went out to get some water and food. Before I left the building, I asked the guard if he wanted an “aguita” to which he said yes. I had heard this word so many times before, “quieres una aguita?” Do I want a “little water?” I don’t know what the heck that means, but I found myself actually using it without even thinking about it and I surprised myself.

So, across the street is a shop that sells empanadas — which I think is true of 50% of the street shops in Colombia. I tell the lady my predicament — that I offered the guard an “aguita” but wasn’t sure exactly what he would be expecting. She suggested an “agua panela” which is warm water with sugar cane and some lemon juice. That sounded right to me, but I figured I better take the guard a “little water” too just in case, so I also bought a tiny plastic water bottle. I finished my empanada and waddled back into Comfaboy.

I gave the guard his aguitas and he was very appreciative. I don’t think strangers doing random things like that is very common there, but it’s always nice to surprise people in a good way. Karma. Negative test, check. New smartphone, check. New glasses, check. Refreshed me, check check check. It turns out I barely made it out of Colombia, since strikes were scheduled in Bogotá for the day after my flight. Good timing!

Once back in the U.S., my first mission was to get a new cell phone plan! I haven’t had my own plan in over five years! So, what’s the first thing I did? I went to ATT! And that lasted about 10 seconds since they told me their cheapest plan was $50/month. That’s way out of my price range. I’m looking for cheap. I mean cheeaap. So, I spotted a Cricket Wireless across the street. I’d heard of them, but always thought they were some cooky company, who names themselves Cricket?

It turns out, this was a fortuitous venture on my part. The sales representative told me their cheapest plan was $30/month for 2GB of data + unlimited text/calls. Now we’re talking. I went back home and researched Cricket and they checked out pretty well. The only problem was that they didn’t support the new cell phone I had just bought. D’oh! So I looked online for the best mobile plans and the first one that popped up was Mint Mobile. Never heard of it. But…their cheapest plan was $15/month for 4GB + unlimited text/calls. Holy cow, I had hit the mother lode. I was already ready to sign up with Cricket, but now Mint Mobile was doubling their offer for half the price. Too good to be true. I signed up anyways 🙂

This is what happens when you leave the straight path and do different things. I knew nothing about SIM cards and smartphones and prepaid / postpaid plans before coming to Colombia. I just contentedly paid ATT their $40/month, figuring that’s just how things are done. Now after going through plans with Claro, Wom, Tigo, you name it, I don’t care who my mobile provider is. As long as it works and isn’t too expensive, that’s all I need. So, there you have it — Mint Mobile was in the right place at the right time. Let’s see how it plays out. If you want to try it, let me know and I will refer you — I think I get a referral bonus or something!

Once I got my cell phone situation figured out, I could do so many more things — access my banking accounts, submit a driver’s license application, update my resume, etc. I felt like I was slowly plugging myself back into society again. I have a “To-Do” list of things that I’m slowly working through. The overarching one is to find a job. This has been an interesting and eye-opening experience for me, given that it’s my first time as a free agent.

I got an e-mail last night from a recruiter for a Parking company asking me to attend a job fair today with the possibility of the following positions: Valet Attendant, Cashier, Lot Attendant, Prescreening Ambassador. Interesting, I wonder how she matched my resume with these positions seeing as I don’t have experience in any of these positions. I politely asked her if they would be interviewing for other positions as well, and did not receive a response.

On the bright side, I got another e-mail from a different recruiter which seemed more inline with my experience and what I’m looking for. I am more-or-less open to any positions right now where I’m doing work that I enjoy. I think that’s my key driver, more so than working for a company with a social mission. If I could have both, that would be ideal. But at this point, I’m looking more to get back into the game and doing work that I enjoy and hopefully am good at.

In the meantime, I’ve been relaxing, recuperating and organizing my things the last few days here. I have had my burrito and washed my car. I’ve ordered a few things from Amazon. I feel like I’m ready to get back at it again. I will miss having my freedom, but I had a nice run. Who knows, maybe some day I will be able to do something similar again. But for now, I have other plans and goals in mind.